Philosophy metaphysics Essay

In order to clearly answer the first question, it is important first to answer the question – â€Å"what is the soul for Aristotle† and as such give an account of how he views substance and separability. Aristotle posits in de Anima that the soul is the substance in the sense which corresponds to the definitive formula of a thing’s essence. That means that it is â€Å"’the essential whatness’’ of a body of the character just assigned. (Book II, 412b). As such, the soul is the essence of being and the essence of being is its substance. By being, Aristotle refers to the thing itself while by essence he refers to the primary essence of the thing itself wherein one is treated as the subject in its own right i. e. the good itself is treated as the essence of the good. It can be deduced then, using hypothetical syllogism that if soul is the essence of a being and the essence of being is its substance, then the soul is the substance of a being. He argued further that whatever is has a being, whatever has a being has a substance – this as the grounding of his epistemology. Hence, whatever is has a substance. This implies then that being is identical to substance. If such is the case, then using the principle of excluded middle, being is also identical to soul. Now, let us elucidate the concept of separability. Aristotle first distinguished the difference between the body and the soul. The body as he stated corresponds to what exists in potentiality, it being the subject or matter of a possible actuality. Soul, on the other hand, is a substance (actuality) in the sense of the form of a natural body having life potentially within it; it is the actuality of the body. Aristotle, Book II, 421b) As he delineates the dissimilarity between the body and soul, one should not be mislead in regarding the two as separate entities. They are at some point seems to be separate for in the former we are talking about a corporeal body in its spatio-temporal existence while in the latter we are talking of an incorporeal body transcending in the spatio-temporal world. However, their separability in terms of space and time does not mean they are separate as whole – that is an entity having life. As Aristotle argues â€Å"the soul is inseparable from its body, or at any rate that certain parts of it are (if it has parts) for the actuality of some of them is nothing but the actualities of their bodily parts†. (Aristotle, Book II, 413a). He argues further that â€Å"body cannot be the actuality of the soul; it is the soul which is the actuality of a certain kind of body. Hence the soul cannot be without a body, while it cannot be a body; it is not a body but something relative to a body. That is why it is in a body and a body of a definite kind†. (Book I, 421a). It can be deduced then that soul and the body are inseparable with each other. It is because the essence of both their existence lies in the interdependency of their telos – the soul actualizing the potential life in the body while the body providing an entity for the soul to actualize itself in the material world. Since the soul is the actuality of natural body, then naturally it would have certain functions which it can actualize. Aristotle has identified these functions to be the following: (1. ) powers of self-nutrition or the nutritive function; (2. powers of sensation which includes the sensory and appetitive function; (3. ) the power of movement and rest or the locomotive function and (4. ) the power of thinking. With these functions, he posited a psychic power of hierarchy. He claimed that of the psychic powers mentioned above, some kinds of beings posses all of these, some possess less than all while others posses only one. As such, evidently, the plants possess the p ower of self-nutrition wherein they can grow up or down and increase or decrease in all direction as long they can find nutrients in the soil. It is through their own means that they continue tolive. Even though the plants possess only one function of the soul, it is a great wonder how they continuously subsist on their own. Next is the power of sensation, which is possessed by all animals. All animals possessed the power of sensation because they all have the primary form of sense, which is touch. Aristotle defended and further elaborated this notion in de Anima. To wit: if any order of living things has the sensory, it must also have the appetitive; for appetite is the genus of which desire, passion, and wish are the species; now all animals have one sense at least, viz. ouch, and whatever has a sense has the capacity for pleasure and pain and therefore has pleasant and painful objects present to it, and wherever these are present, there is desire, for desire is just appetition of what is pleasant. (BookII, 414b) From the arguments stated above, it can be evidently inferred not just how Aristotle proven that all animals possess at least one sense, the touch, but also how he sci entifically deduced that all animals by virtue of their sensory function, possess appetitive function, too. From all these animals, there are some which possessed the power of locomotion, advancing them to a higher stratum. These are animals which can execute any kind of movements together with the capacity to halt such movement. Lastly, the human beings possessed all of the above-mentioned functions placing them on the top of the hierarchy. They posses the power of thinking, which is the essential feature of the human beings and which separates them apart from all other species. Analyzing the theoretical framework Aristotle succumbed to, it can be construed then that for him every being has a soul. This is evidently manifested in his attempt to prove the groundings of his epistemology extending his claim to the psychic hierarchy wherein he posited that every kind of living thing – any entity for that matter possesses certain function/s of the soul It should be put in mind, however, that even Aristotle posited the different functions of the soul; they are in essence, inseparable. An example of this is the function of nutrition (by eating) which human beings in particular do in order to properly and clearly think. The latter being also a function of the soul. Evidently, every function of the soul is interconnected with each other especially in the case of the Homo sapiens, who possessed all the enumerated functions of the soul. Aristotle notions of intellect can be rooted in his conception of knowledge – in his epistemology. It is from his conception of knowledge arises his other assertions on how he views the world. It is common sensical then to claim that his conception of the mind or any other things transcending from their spatio-temporal existence, his metaphysics, is grounded on his epistemology. As such, it is with utmost importance to first answer how Aristotle regards the nature of knowledge and how does one able to acquire knowledge so as to provide an answer on his notion of intellect. Knowledge for him can only be found within the material world – that is things, which are intelligible by senses. It is then through our experience with this objects in their spatio-temporal existence that we come to know them. He mentioned the processes of how we can arrive to know these objects – by perception, discrimination and thinking. By perception here, I mean the process of how our senses operate to recognize things in the material word. Discrimination then comes simultaneous with perception in order to give a concrete description of the thing being perceived. In example, upon the perception of a certain plant, we can able to distinguish its structure and other ontical features as the mind started to categorized. As a corollary, we arrived at the conclusion that what we perceived is indeed a plant. From there, we judged that what we perceived is indeed a plant and hence, arriving in the state of thinking. It can be deduced then that through thinking, one can able to comprehend the ontical features of an object and by virtue one’s reason, its primary essence. By primary essence, I mean the telos or the end itself of a thing. Since reason for Aristotle is innate in human beings so is intellect. It is because for Aristotle, reason is an essential property of the mind – that is of the intellect. If that is the case, then reason for Aristotle is relatively tantamount to the intellect. Husserl, on the other hand regarded the process of intuition as the first level of cognition wherein the objects are grasp in its original thru experience. This is also the case when one is cognizing objects of mere representations which includes but not limited to pictorial intuitions and any means of symbolic indications. To wit, experiencing is consciousness that intuits something and values it to be actual; experiencing is intrinsically characterized as consciousness of the natural object in question and of it as the original: there is consciousness of the original as being there â€Å"in person. The same thing can be expressed by saying that objects would be nothing at all for the cognizing subject if they did not â€Å"appear† to him, if he had of them no â€Å"phenomenon. † Here, therefore, â€Å"phenomenon† signifies a certain content that intrinsically inhabits the intuitive consciousness in question and is the substrate for its actuality valuation. (Husserl, p. 3) It is only but logical to infer that experience plays a vital role in the cognition of a certain object. As such, it is only upon experience, can one theorized and moved to a higher level of cognition. A thing must first be intuited before one can theorize about them. And after theorizing, comes the process of reflection. Evidently, both Aristotle and Husserl believed in the value of experience in which the former calls perception and the latter intuition. From these processes arises higher forms of cognition wherein the end result for Aristotle is thinking through the use of reason while for Husserl, it is pure reflection as a result of phenomenology. It is then with utmost importance to first clarify, what does Husserl meant by intellect and Ego. As such, in what process does a person uses his intellect. Furthermore, what is the difference of reflection from pure reflection and of the empirical Ego to the transcendental Ego? Also, one should answer the question â€Å"what is phenomenology? † and â€Å"why it is only through this process one can arrive at pure reflection? † For Husserl, intellect is identical with consciousness as Ego is identical to Self. As such, when one speaks of intellect, one is referring to consciousness and vice-versa. Such is also the case with the Ego and the Self. Reflection is the process wherein one is looking not towards the act of reflection itself but rather in the direction of the objects one is conscious of. As such, one is absorbed in reflecting how these objects exist rather than asking how they come into being or essentially, enquiring on their primordial existence. If the consciousness is moving towards this kind of reflection, then the Ego is only in his/her ontical (empirical) status. Pure reflection, on the other hand, is the process wherein the consciousness is reflecting his consciousness – that is the act of reflection per se. This is the case wherein the Ego transcends from his ontical stage by describing the events i. e. relating, referring, combining, et al in his consciousness. And this can only be done thru the process of phenomenology. What is phenomenology then? Phenomenology is defined as the science of consciousness. (Husserl, p. 5) It is the process of describing the things and events themselves in their primordial sense through the use of phenomenological reduction. Phenomenological reduction then is the process wherein one suspends his/her preconceived notion of things in order to objectively describe the objects and events as what it appears to them. It only thru this process that we can arrive at pure reflection because this is the only method wherein objects and events are describe as themselves without concurring to any established principle or assumption. Evidently, Aristotle’s notion of intellect and Husserl’s notion of Ego posited the strength of mind in general – transcending from space and time. If that is the case, then the conception of a person is not only confined within the physical realm – that is he can do things beyond the limit of his physical existence in his journey to unravel the primordial existence of objects and any discipline for that matter. However, what sets them apart from each other is their notion on how one can really grasp the ontological state of an object or in the words of Kant –their intentionality. Aristotle believed that one can only know the ontological state of a thing by referring to its primary essence, its telos as the context clue in able to grasp the object’s primary essence. For Husserl, on the other hand, it is only through the use of phenomenological method can one comprehend the ontological state of objects. In Being and Time, Heidegger attempted to know the meaning of a Being – that is the Dasein, by starting to ask and redefine the fundamental question of â€Å"What is a Being? † He further continued this method by asking the ontological question of Being – that only a being can know his Being because he is consciousness to his Being by his being. His starting point is the fact that a being is a Being-in-the-World. He is a being situated in this world. As such, it is only him who can know his being by virtue of his ontic-ontological character. If that is the case, then it is only him who can determine his possibilities by virtue of being a spatio-temporal entity. Since no other entities can determine his possibilities as a being conscious of his existence, then the Dasein solely can ascertain his existentiall. It can be deduced then that the task of Dasein is to transcend to his existentiell in order to arrive at his ontological status. He can only do this by maximizing his possibilities to know himself thru the things which are ready-at-hand – things which can help him to reveal his being to him. It should be kept in mind that this process of knowing the Dasein does not go in hermeneutic circles rather on a back and forth condition Dasein as a spatio-temporal entity is facing a hard time to know his being because there is a tendency that he might be too absorb in his world or fall. Yet what Heidegger wants to emphasize is that he as a Dasein should not conceive his being as a spatio-temporal entity an encumbrance to his Being. It is because it is only through this world he can have his possibilities. This separates him from other entities and makes him a Dasein. Evidently, Heidegger’s notion of Dasein greatly gives importance to the relationship of the Being and the world which is also apparent in Aristotle notion of intellect and Husserl’s notion of Ego. However, what separates the former from the latter is that it focused on providing an answer on how one can transcend to his facticity in order to ontologically know his Being. The latter, on the other hand, focuses in discovering the essence and the ontological existence of the objects in the material world. Transcendental phenomenology is defined in general as the study of essence. It designates two things: a new kind of descriptive method which made a breakthrough in philosophy at the turn of the century, and an a priori science derived from it; a science which is intended to supply the basic instrument for a rigorously scientific philosophy and, in its consequent application, to make possible a methodical reform of all the sciences. (Husserl, p. 15) Essentially, transcendental phenomenology then is a description of phenomena. Husserl, then, laid down the method to achieve the objective of reforming all the sciences. The first step is the use of phenomenological epoche or reduction or bracketing wherein one suspends or take away all his/her biases and prejudices in order to â€Å"objectively describe† a phenomena. By doing this, we can arrive at a universal description of a phenomena. This will be followed by the compare and contrast method which one will have to undertake in order to arrive at the pure data of things. It appears then that by suspending one’s judgment and undergoing the intersubjectivity test, we can arrive at the â€Å"pure data of things†. In relation to this, Husserl claims that this method should be followed by all sciences in order to answer their primordial condition. It is held that sciences cannot escape their dogmas because it fails to question how they come to be. What they are just doing is a mere adaptation of established principles proven in the past to be true. Since these established principles were proven in the past to be true, scientists or people who work in the sciences do not make any attempt to further verify the truthfulness of their established principles – that is how and why is it the case that such principles were held to be true. For indisputably, things cannot just come into being without any rationalization, scientific explanation for that matter. Sciences have constructed ready-made answers to all things – their nature, existence, feature, et al; grounded on the preconceived notion that sciences have already provided sufficient answers to the primitiveness of these objects. While sciences are busy in explaining these things [the ready-made answers], they failed to realized that they were not able to arrived at the Isness of these objects, on how they come into being. However, since the sciences had already deceived the people, that in the past, it already provided sufficient answers to the primordial existence of things, it appears then they are seemingly contented and satisfied by what the sciences have achieved. This is what phenomenology wants to deconstruct – it wanted to create a paradigm shift by destroying the â€Å"tradition† institutionalized by science and overcoming relativism and subjectivism by the use of phenomenological reduction. From these, one can arrive at the pure data of consciousness. It is in this sense, that phenomenology becomes transcendental. Phenomenology is different from descriptive psychology because it draws upon pure reflection exclusively, and pure reflection excludes, as such, every type of external experience and therefore precludes any co positing of objects alien to consciousness. (Husserl, p. 7) Descriptive psychology then does not depend upon pure reflection exclusively; it needs psychological experiencing which would result to the reflection of the external experience. As such, consciousness itself becomes something transcendent, becomes an event in that spatial world which appears, by virtue of consciousness, to be transcendent. (Husserl, p. 7) It can be inferred then that phenomenology focuses solely on the consciousness per se of a being making it the science of consciousness while descriptive psychology focuses on the consciousness of a being in his psychic experiences. Transcendental idealism states that â€Å"everything intuited in space and time, and therefore all objects of any experience possible to us, are nothing but appearances, that is, mere representations which, in the manner in which they are represented, as extended beings or as series of alterations, have no independent existence outside our thoughts. † (Kant, p. 1) As such, it posits that one cannot have the knowledge of the realm beyond the empirical – that is one cannot experience objects outside space and time. It is because the mind as Kant argues having certain constraints [in reference to space and time] – can only grasp the noesis of the object but not its noumena – the object’s intentionality. It can be inferred then that transcendental idealism’s fundamental assertions lies on two grounds: first, objects by themselves exudes intentionality; and secondly, we can never know their intentionality [or noumena] because our mind can only grasp the noesis or what is appearing to us. Phenomenology believes on Kant’s first claim that indeed objects have their own intentionality but vies the second assertion. As such, its emergence as a domain of study in philosophy is grounded on its thrust to prove that indeed the mind can know the noumena of objects. Phenomenology believes that this can be done using eidetic reductionism proving to all that the mind can transcend beyond the physical realm – beyond space and time. Essentially, all the philosophies which were tackled in this paper seek to explain and interpret the world – including the objects within it and the beings living in it; from the primordial existence of things up to the authentication of one’s Being.

Night World : Secret Vampire Chapter 2

â€Å"Poppy!† Poppy could hear her mother's voice, but she couldn't see anything. The kitchen floor was obscured by dancing black dots. â€Å"Poppy, are you all right?† Now Poppy felt hermother's hands grasping her upper arms, holding her anxiously. The pain was easing and her vision was coming back. As she straightened up, she saw James in front ofher. His face was almost expressionless, but Poppy knew him well enough to recognize the worry in hiseyes. He was holding the milk carton, she realized. He must have caught it on the fly as she droppedit–amazing reflexes, Poppy thought vaguely. Really amazing. Phillip was on his feet. â€Å"Are you okay? Whathappened?† â€Å"I-don't know.† Poppy looked around, thenshrugged, embarrassed. Now that she felt better shewished they weren't all staring at her so hard. Theway to deal with the pain was to ignore it, to notthink about it. â€Å"It's just this stupid pain-I think it's gastrowhatchmacallit. You know, something I ate.† Poppy's mother gave her daughter the barest fraction of a shake. â€Å"Poppy, this is not gastroenteritis.You were having some pain before-nearly a monthago, wasn't it? Is this the same kind of pain?† Poppy squirmed uncomfortably. As a matter offact, the pain had never really gone away. Somehow,in the excitement of end-of-the-year activities, she'dmanaged to disregard it, and by now she was used to working around it. â€Å"Sort of,† she temporized. â€Å"But That was enough for Poppy's mother. She gavePoppy a little squeeze and headed for the kitchen telephone. â€Å"I know you don't like doctors, but I'mcalling Dr. Franklin. I want him to take a look at you. This isn't something we can ignore.† â€Å"Oh, Mom, it's vacation†¦.† Her mother covered the mouthpiece of the phone.†Poppy, this is nonnegotiable. Go get dressed.† Poppy groaned, but she could see it was no use.She beckoned to James, who was looking thoughtfully into a middle distance. â€Å"Let's at least listen to the CD before I have to go.† He glanced at the CD as if he'd forgotten it, and put down the milk carton. Phillip followed them into the hallway. â€Å"Hey, buddy, you wait out here while she gets dressed.† James barely turned. â€Å"Get a life, Phil,† he said almost absently. â€Å"Just keep your hands off my sister, you deve.† Poppy just shook her head as she went into her room. As if James cared about seeing her undressed. If only,she thought grimly, pulling a pair of shortsout of a drawer. She stepped into them, still shaking her head. James was her best friend, her very bestfriend, and she was his. But he'd never shown even the slightest desire to get his hands on her. Sometimes she wondered if he realized she was a girl. Someday I'm going to makehim see, she thought,and shouted out the door for him. James came in and smiled at her. It was a smile other people rarely saw, not a taunting or ironic grin, but a nice little smile, slightly crooked. â€Å"Sorry about the doctor thing,† Poppy said. â€Å"No. You should go.† James gave her a keenglance. â€Å"Your mom's right, you know. This has been going on way too long. You've lost weight; it's keeping you up at night-â€Å" Poppy looked at him, startled. She hadn't told anybody about how the pain was worse at night, not even James. But sometimes James just knewthings. As if he could read her mind. â€Å"I just know you, that's all,† he said, and then gaveher a mischievous sideways glance as she stared at him. He unwrapped the CD. Poppy shrugged and flopped on her bed, staring atthe ceiling. â€Å"Anyway, I wish Mom would let me have oneday of vacation,† she said. She craned her neckto look at James speculatively. â€Å"I wish I had a mom like yours. Mine's always worrying and trying to fix me.† â€Å"And mine doesn't really care if I come or go. Sowhich is worse?† James said wryly. â€Å"Your parents let you have your own apartment. â€Å" â€Å"In a building they own. Because it's cheaper thanhiring a manager.† James shook his head, his eyeson the CD he was putting in the player. â€Å"Don't knockyour parents, kid. You're luckier than you know.† Poppy thought about that as the CD started. Sheand James both liked trance-the underground electronic sound that had come from Europe. James likedthe techno beat. Poppy loved it because it was real music, raw and unpasteurized, made by people who believed in it. People who had the passion, not people who had the money. Besides, world music made her feel a part of otherplaces. She loved the differentness of it, the alienness. Come to think of it, maybe that was what she likedabout James, too. His differentness. She tilted her head to look at him as the strange rhythms of Burundi drumming filled the air. She knew James better than anyone, but there wasalways something, something about him that was closed off to her. Something about him that nobody could reach. Other people took it for arrogance, or coldness, oraloofness, but it wasn't really any of those things. It was just differentness. He was more different thanany of the exchangestudents at school. Time after time, Poppy felt she had almost put her finger on thedifference, but it always slipped away. And more than once, especially late at night when they were listening to music or watching the ocean, she'd felthe was about to tell her. And she'd always felt that if he didtell her, itwould be something important, something as shocking and lovely as having a stray cat speak to her. Just now she looked at James, at his dean, carvenprofile and at the brown waves of hair on his forehead, and thought, He looks sad. â€Å"Jamie, nothing's wrong, is it? I mean, at home, oranything?† She was the only person on the planet allowed to call him Jamie. Not even Jacklyn or Michaela had ever tried that. â€Å"What could be wrong at home?† he said, with asmile that didn't reach his eyes. Then he shook his head dismissively. â€Å"Don't worry about it, Poppy. It'snothing important-just a relative threatening to visit. An unwanted relative.† Then the smile didreach his eyes, glinting there. â€Å"Or maybe I'm justworried about you,† he said. Poppy started to say, â€Å"Oh, as if, â€Å"but instead she found herself saying, oddly, â€Å"Are you really?† Her seriousness seemed to strike some chord. Hissmile disappeared, and Poppy found that they were simply looking at each other without any insulating humor between them. Just gazing into each other's eyes. James looked uncertain, almost vulnerable. â€Å"Poppy Poppy swallowed. â€Å"Yes?† He opened his mouth-and then he got upabruptly and went to adjust her 170-watt Tall-boy speakers. When he turned back, his gray eyes were dark and fathomless. â€Å"Sure, if you were really sick, I'd be worried,† hesaid lightly. â€Å"That's what friends are for, right?† Poppy deflated. â€Å"Right,† she said wistfully, andthen gave him a determined smile. â€Å"But you're not sick,† he said. â€Å"It's just somethingyou need to get taken care of. The doctor'll probably give you some antibiotics or something-with a bigneedle,† he added wickedly. â€Å"Oh, shut up,† Poppy said. He knew she was terrified of injections. Just the thought of a needle entering her skin †¦ â€Å"Here comes your mom,† James said, glancing atthe door, which was ajar. Poppy didn't see how he could hear anybody coming-the music was loud andthe hallway was carpeted. But an instant later her mother pushed the door open. â€Å"All right, sweetheart,† she said briskly. â€Å"Dr.Franklin says come right in. I'm sorry, James, but I'm going to have to take Poppy away.† â€Å"That's okay. I can come back this afternoon.† Poppy knew when she was defeated. She allowedher mother to tow her to the garage, ignoring James's miming of someone receiving a large injection. An hour later she was lying on Dr. Franklin's examining table, eyes politely averted as his gentle fingers probed her abdomen. Dr. Franklin was tall, lean,and graying, with the air of a country doctor. Some body you could trust absolutely. â€Å"The pain is here?† he said. â€Å"Yeah-but it sort of goes into my back. Or maybe I just pulled a muscle back there or something The gentle, probing fingers moved, then stopped. Dr. Franklin's face changed. And somehow, in that moment, Poppy knew it wasn't a pulled muscle. Itwasn't an upset stomach; it wasn't anything simple; and things were about to change forever. All Dr. Franklin said was, â€Å"You know, I'd like toarrange for a test on this.† His voice was dry and thoughtful, but panic curled through Poppy anyway. She couldn't explain what was happening inside her-some sort of dreadful premonition, like a black pit opening in the ground in front of her. â€Å"Why?† her mother was asking the doctor. â€Å"Well.† Dr. Franklin smiled and pushed his glassesup. He tapped two fingers on the examining table.†Just as part of a process of elimination, really. Poppysays she's been having pain in the upper abdomen, pain that radiates to her back, pain that's worse atnight. She's lost her appetite recently, and she's lost weight. And her gallbladder is palpable-that meansI can feel that it's enlarged. Now, those are symptomsof a lot of things, and a sonogram will help rule out some of them.† Poppy calmed down. She couldn't remember whata gallbladder did but she was pretty sure she didn't need it.Anything involving an organ with such a silly name couldn't be serious. Dr. Franklin was goingon, talking about the pancreas and pancreatitis andpalpable livers, and Poppy's mother was nodding as if she understood. Poppy didn't understand, but thepanic was gone. It was as if a cover had been whisked neatly over the black pit, leaving no sign that it had ever been there. â€Å"You can get the sonogram done at Children's Hospital across the street,† Dr. Franklin wassaying. â€Å"Come back here after it's finished.† Poppy's mother was nodding, calm, serious, andefficient. Like Phil. Or Cliff. Okay, we'll get this taken care of. Poppy felt just slightly important.Nobody sheknew had been to a hospital for tests. Her mother ruffled her hair as they walked out ofDr. Franklin's office. â€Å"Well, Poppet. What have you done to yourself now?† Poppy smiled impishly. She was fully recoveredfrom her earlier worry. â€Å"Maybe I'll have to have an operation and I'll have an interesting scar,† she said,to amuse her mother. â€Å"Let's hope not,† her mother said, unamused. The Suzanne G. Monteforte Children's Hospitalwas a handsome gray building with sinuous curve sand giant picture windows. Poppy looked thoughtfully into the gift shop as they passed. It was clearly akid's gift shop, full of rainbow Slinkys and stuffed animals that a visiting adult could buy as a last-minute present. A girl came out of the shop. She was a little olderthan Poppy, maybe seventeen or eighteen. She was pretty, with an expertly made-up face-and a cutebandanna which didn't quite conceal the fact that she had no hair. She looked happy, round-cheeked,with earrings dangling jauntily beneath the band anna-but Poppy felt a stab of sympathy. Sympathy†¦and fear. That girl was reallysick. Which was what hospitals were for, of course-for really sick people. Suddenly Poppy wanted to get herown tests over with and get out of here. The sonogram wasn't painful, but it was vaguelydisturbing. A technician smeared some kind of jelly over Poppy's middle, then ran a cold scanner over it,shooting sound waves into her, taking pictures of her insides. Poppy found her mind returning to the prettygirl with no hair. To distract herself, she thought about James. And for some reason what came to mind was the first time she'd seen James, the day he came to kindergarten. He'd been a pale, slight boy with big gray eyes and something subtly weirdabout him that made thebigger boys start picking on him immediately. On the playground they ganged up on him like houndsaround a fox-until Poppy saw what was happening. Even at five she'd had a great right hook. She'dburst into the group, slapping faces and kicking shins until the big boys went running. Then she'd turned to James. â€Å"Wanna be friends?† After a brief hesitation he'd nodded shyly. Therehad been something oddly sweet in his smile. But Poppy had soon found that her new friend wasstrange in small ways. When the class lizard died, he'd picked up the corpse without revulsion andasked Poppy if she wanted to hold it. The teacher had been horrified. He knew where to find dead animals, too-he'dshown her a vacant lot where several rabbit carcasseslay in the tall brown grass. He was matter-of-factabout it. When he got older, the big kids stopped pickingon him. He grew up to be as tall as any of them, and surprisingly strong and quick-and he developed areputation for being tough and dangerous. When he got angry, something almost frightening shone in hisgray eyes. He never got angry with Poppy, though. They'dremained best friends all these years. When they'd reached junior high, he'd started having girlfriends all the girls at school wanted himbut he never kept any of them long. And he never confided in them;to them he was a mysterious, secretive bad boy. Only Poppy saw the other side of him, the vulnerable, caring side. â€Å"Okay,† the technician said, bringing Poppy backto the present with a jerk. â€Å"You're done; let's wipe this jelly off you.† â€Å"So what did it show?† Poppy asked, glancing upat the monitor. â€Å"Oh, your own doctor will tell you that. The radiologist will read the results and call them over to your doctor's office.† The technician's voice was absolutely neutral-so neutral that Poppy looked ather sharply. Back in Dr. Franklin's office, Poppy fidgeted whileher mother paged through out-of-date magazines. When the nurse said â€Å"Mrs. Hilgard,† they bothstood up. â€Å"Uh-no,† the nurse said, looking flustered. â€Å"Mrs.Hilgard, the doctor just wants toseeyou for a minute-alone.† Poppy and her mother looked at each other. Then,slowly, Poppy's mother put down her People magazine and followed the nurse. Poppy stared after her. Now, what on earth . . . Dr. Franklin had neverdone that before. Poppy realized that her heart was beating hard. Notfast, just hard. Bang†¦bang†¦ bang, in the middle of her chest, shaking her insides. Making her feelunreal and giddy. Don't think about it. It's probably nothing. Reada magazine. But her fingers didn't seem to work properly. When she finally got the magazine open, her eyes ran over the words without delivering them to herbrain. What are they talking about in there? What's going on?It's been so long†¦. It kept getting longer. As Poppy waited, she foundherself vacillating between two modes of thought. 1) Nothing serious was wrong with her and her motherwas going to come out and laugh at her for even imagining there was, and 2) Something awful waswrong with her and she was going to have to go through some dreadful treatment to get well. The covered pit and the open pit. When the pit was covered, it seemed laughable, and she felt embarrassed for having such melodramatic thoughts. But when it was open, she felt as if all her life before this had been adream, and now she was hitting hard reality at last. I wish I could call James, she thought. At last the nurse said, â€Å"Poppy? Come on in.† Dr. Franklin's office was wood-paneled, with certificates and diplomas hanging on the walls. Poppy sat down in a leather chair and tried not to be tooobvious about scanning her mother's face. Her mother looked†¦too calm. Calm with strainunderneath. She was smiling, but it was an odd,slightly unsteady smile. Oh, God, Poppy thought. Something isgoing on. â€Å"Now, there's no cause for alarm,† the doctor said,and immediately Poppy became more alarmed. Her palms stuck to the leather of the chair arms. â€Å"Something showed up in your sonogram that's alittle unusual, and I'd like to do a couple of othertests,† Dr. Franklin said, his voice slow and measured, soothing. â€Å"One of the tests requires that you fast from midnight the day before you take it. But your mom says you didn't eat breakfast today.† Poppy said mechanically, â€Å"I ate one Frosted Flake.† â€Å"OneFrosted Flake? Well, I think we can countthat as fasting. We'll do the tests today, and I think it's best to admit you to the hospital for them. Now, the tests are called a CAT scan and an ERCP-that's short for something even I can't pronounce.† Hesmiled. Poppy just stared at him. â€Å"There's nothing frightening about either of thesetests,† he said gently. â€Å"The CAT scan is like an X ray. The ERCP involves passing a tube down the throat, through the stomach, and into the pancreas. Then we inject into the tube a liquid that will show up onX rays .† His mouth kept moving, but Poppy had stoppedhearing the words. She was more frightened than she could remember being in a long time. I was just joking about the interesting scar, shethought. I don't want a real disease. I don't want to go to the hospital, and I don't want any tubes down my throat. She looked at her mother in mute appeal. Her mother took her hand. â€Å"It's no big deal, sweetheart. We'll just go home andpack a few things for you; then we'll come back.† â€Å"I have to go into the hospital today?† â€Å"I think that would be best,† Dr. Franklin said. Poppy's hand tightened on her mother's. Her mind was a humming blank. When they left the office, her mother said, â€Å"Thankyou, Owen.† Poppy had never heard her call Dr. Franklin by his first name before. Poppy didn't ask why. She didn't say anything asthey walked out of the building and got in the car. As they drove home, her mother began to chat aboutordinary things in a light, calm voice, and Poppy made herself answer. Pretending that everything wasnormal, while all the time the terrible sick feeling raged inside her. It was only when they were in her bedroom, packing mystery books and cotton pajamas into a small suitcase, that she asked almost casually, â€Å"So whatexactly does he think is wrong with me?† Her mother didn't answer immediately. She waslooking down at the suitcase. Finally she said, â€Å"Well, he's not sure anything is wrong.† â€Å"But what does he think?He must think something. And he was talking about my pancreas-Imean, it sounds like he thinks there's somethingwrong with my pancreas. I thought he was looking at my gallbladderor whatever. I didn't even know that my pancreas was involvedin this†¦.† â€Å"Sweetheart.† Her mother took her by the shoulders, and Poppy realized she was getting a little over wrought. She took a deep breath. â€Å"I just want to know the truth, okay? I just wantto have some idea of what's going on. It's my body, and I've got a right to know what they're lookingfor-don't I?† It was a brave speech, and she didn't mean any of it. What she really wanted was reassurance, a prom ise that Dr. Franklin was looking for something trivial. That the worst that could happen wouldn't be so bad. She didn't get it. â€Å"Yes, you do have a right to know.† Her motherlet a long breath out, then spoke slowly. â€Å"Poppy, Dr. Franklin was concerned about your pancreas allalong. Apparently things can happen in the pancreas that cause changes in other organs, like the gallblad der and liver. When Dr. Franklin felt those changes, he decided to check things out with a sonogram.† Poppy swallowed. â€Å"And he said the sonogramwas-unusual. How unusual?† â€Å"Poppy, this is all preliminary†¦.† Her mothersaw her face and sighed. She went on reluctantly.† The sonogram showed that there might be something in your pancreas. Something that shouldn't bethere. That's why Dr. Franklin wants the other tests;they'll tell us for sure. But-â€Å" â€Å"Something that shouldn't be there? You mean †¦ like a tumor? Like †¦cancer?† Strange, it was hard to say the words. Her mother nodded once. â€Å"Yes. Like cancer.†

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